make today a day for giving for giving free pardon for giving up the desire to punish ...‘forgiving’

There are many gifts you can give each other, but one of the most important gifts is often neglected. Many relationships are filled with a negative history. Not only has that history been written down but it is faithfully read again and again every time a loved one offends.

Some keep filing cabinets with the time, date and offence carefully catalogued in their minds. They are ever ready to go routeing through those filing cabinets when the occasion justifies it. There are benefits in keeping such immaculate records.

  1. It’s much easier to win an argument when you can produce evidence more quickly than Google can do a search.
  2. It also doubles up as a defence barrier so you don’t get hurt again.
  3. When the occasion calls for it, you can ‘loan out’ your offences to other people to add fuel to their arguments.

The reality is however that by keeping hold of offences you allow a lot of clutter to come into your life. Now, don’t get defensive! You might believe it is neatly organised so it is inappropriate to call it clutter. You may also feel that you really need that clutter. You might have convinced yourself that you would prefer to live with the clutter and put up with less space because somehow it provides you comfort. The truth is however that holding on to unforgiveness can make a mess of your life, just as hoarders make a mess of their homes.

Unforgiveness is like hoarding. Don't allow that 'clutter' to infiltrate your marriage. Share on X

There are many TV shows which examine the difficulties hoarders have in giving up their possessions. Every scrap of paper, every useless item needs to be pried from their hands to give them some freedom. Have you ever noticed, however, that many of those hoarders have significant issues in their past? Most have forgiveness issues! The hoarding of bitterness in their heart expresses itself in their homes. Their spouses are often trying to live with the mess, shuffling past huge heaps of random objects, often feeling as though they are being buried alive.

Hoarding offences, wounds of the past, words, motives, actions, inactions, suspicions and accusations makes life a mess. Justifying hoarding only makes it worse for everyone surrounding the hoarder. It is a relationship destroyer.It’s important to let the things of the past go! So make today a day for giving, or rather a day for ‘forgiving’. Share on X

Forgiveness is to give up the desire to punish, to give up the right to retain the evidence, to give up the history of hurt. Today is a day for giving it over to God. He is a just God trust Him with it!

Bringing Worlds Together Book

Many couples struggle to get on the same page in marriage. Whether you are newlyweds or have been married for years Bringing Worlds Together will help you blend together. Expect to learn more about your spouse, gain insight and be challenged.

Are you ready to move closer rather than drift apart?

Available in print and ebook formats.

Adjusting Expectations Book

No-one enters marriage expectation free. Adjusting Expectations helps identify how expectations were formed and whether or not they were realistic. Most expectations need some adjustment; they are often too high but can also be set too low. The good news is expectations can be reset!

Find out what you should expect and what God expects from you.

Available in print and ebook formats.

Improving Communication Book

Most couples would willingly admit that their communication could do with some improvement; although many people also point the finger of blame squarely at their spouse for communication failures. Whether you believe it’s your fault, their fault or that you’re both to blame, this book is for you! There is always room for improvement.

Available in print and ebook formats.

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