when your marriage is dry instead of thriving check your water supply.

I always believed I came from a land where water would always be plentiful. We have rain in abundance and Ireland is known as the ‘Emerald Isle’ for a reason. This year Ireland experienced one of the worst winters in over 100 years, and temperatures hit an all-time low of -18 degrees Celsius. While these temperatures are not so extreme for other countries, it took the UK by surprise. The snow and ice caused a number of transportation problems but in addition, a lot of damage was done to the network of pipes that carry water all over the country. In many areas of the country people didn’t have water!

As we talked about the situation in Ireland, we realised that it has much in common with the situation in many marriages. Many marriages are dry when they should be thriving. The big question is why?

Do you have a full reservoir?

The word reservoir comes from the French word for ‘storehouse’.  Many couples are living day to day and have not thought about the need to have a store for the future. When we use the term ‘storehouse’ we often think of financial savings and many people save up a ‘nest egg’ in case times get tough. It is easy to forget that what we really need to do is make emotional deposits in our marriage reservoir that will see us through the dry times.

We need to get God?s plan though in order to build something that will actually last whatever the weather. The Bible talks of ‘cisterns’ instead of reservoirs. The prophet Jeremiah painted a picture of a cistern that leaked water to illustrate what trying to live life without God was like.

Jeremiah 2:13

My people have committed a compound sin:
they’ve walked out on me, the fountain
Of fresh flowing waters, and then dug cisterns?
cisterns that leak, cisterns that are no better than sieves.


One of the models for reservoir management is called WEAP ‘Water Evaluation And Planning’. It’s a good time to WEAP. Do you need to repent of trying to make plans without involving God?


Treat your marriage like a garden. All gardens need water but what does that mean in the area of your marriage? Start applying what the Bible has to say about different areas of your life and you will find that your marriage starts to flourish. Ask yourselves what it really means to love like Christ loved the Church.

Ephesians 5:25, 26 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word.


Start by asking God to help you evaluate how much water is in your reservoir. Ask Him where you are losing it and where you are losing it from. Ask Him where He wants you to invest your time, your energy and your talents.

2 Corinthians 13:5 Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves.


Talk to each other about what you would like your relationship to become. Express your love and commitment to each other. Another meaning for the word articulate is ‘to form a joint’. Start working together!


Pray about what you need to do to strengthen your marriage in the coming year. Set short term and long term realistic and tangible goals.

“Write the vision and make it plain” Habakkuk 2:2

Bringing Worlds Together Book

Many couples struggle to get on the same page in marriage. Whether you are newlyweds or have been married for years Bringing Worlds Together will help you blend together. Expect to learn more about your spouse, gain insight and be challenged.

Are you ready to move closer rather than drift apart?

Available in print and ebook formats.

Adjusting Expectations Book

No-one enters marriage expectation free. Adjusting Expectations helps identify how expectations were formed and whether or not they were realistic. Most expectations need some adjustment; they are often too high but can also be set too low. The good news is expectations can be reset!

Find out what you should expect and what God expects from you.

Available in print and ebook formats.

Improving Communication Book

Most couples would willingly admit that their communication could do with some improvement; although many people also point the finger of blame squarely at their spouse for communication failures. Whether you believe it’s your fault, their fault or that you’re both to blame, this book is for you! There is always room for improvement.

Available in print and ebook formats.

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