You may think I am going to write about the principle of resisting the temptation to retaliate (Matthew 5), but instead of being hit on both cheeks in Hungary you are more likely to be kissed on both cheeks.
The double kiss is a greeting for family, friends and acquaintances. As an expat family the familiarity of greeting someone (including relative strangers) with a kiss never mind a double kiss was a little daunting.
Social Space
Each culture has its own social space bubble. This circle defines our boundaries and our level of discomfort increases when anyone violates the bubble.
Accepting the new culture is a matter of choice. In my case, I offered one cheek and then thought ‘okay turn the other cheek’. Now turning the other cheek is within my comfort zone, in fact, I find myself a little concerned if someone does not greet me in this way.
Healthy / Unhealthy Boundaries
Even in marriage, we can create our own ‘bubble’. Our ‘bubble’ is the area surrounding us that we consider to be ours. We have a wide circle which is public space, the next is social space, closer still is personal space and then we have what is termed as ‘intimate space’.
While each relationship does need boundaries, not all boundaries are healthy. It may be that some of the walls we have built to keep us safe are detrimental to our relationship. Often we are happy for our spouse to come closer to us physically, but we shy away from being emotionally intimate. We need to step outside our comfort zone to talk about issues we would usually avoid.
Moving abroad can cause couples to become distant with each other, and a couple will need to work harder to keep communication lines open. Don’t be tempted to shut each other out because life is more stressful or complicated.
So when your spouse wants to kiss your cheek turn the other cheek too, allow them into your personal space!
