Time is not always a healer; it can be a thief of peace. Don’t ignore your problems.


Yesterday I had knee surgery. To be honest, I should have had the surgery years ago, but I kept putting off going to see a doctor. I convinced myself that the knee would heal in time and that I just had to be patient. Well, sometimes time is a healer other times it just compounds the problem.

Thank the Lord for my husband who pushed me enough to go and get it checked out.  It turned out that I had damaged over 1/3rd of the Meniscus layer in my knee.

To get technical; the meniscus or cartilage has a specific job in the knee it is designed to provide structural integrity to the knee when it undergoes tension and torsion. The meniscus should disperse friction between the lower leg (tibia) and the thigh (femur).

Years of ignoring the tension I was feeling did further damage!

Don’t Ignore the Issues

There are many problems we face that don’t simply go away. We can have underlying family problems, marriage problems or financial problems. Ignoring them doesn’t help! As missionaries, we can be even more vulnerable to some of those difficulties especially if we don’t have a support network. Relocating can cause a tear in family life, things that had worked smoothly before start creating tension.

    1. Don’t ignore the problem; it won’t go away on its own.
    2. Don’t delay. Being slow to deal with the problem can cause more damage.
    3. Be honest. Psalm 22:14 (NIV) is a Psalm that really describes the emotional condition of the Psalmist. He was honest about how he was feeling; he expressed when things were out of joint.

I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart has turned to wax; it has melted within me.

Don’t Go It Alone.
  1. Talk about it as a family. Don’t hide your feelings from one another but make sure you express them in a positive non-accusative way.
  2. Seek help. This doesn’t mean complaining to your friends or family about your spouse or your circumstances. Seek constructive help from someone who understands what you are both going through and can offer you Godly advice.

During my operation, the Surgeon had to go to the root of the problem. I knew it wouldn’t be an easy thing to go through, but I knew it was necessary.  I will keep you posted on the healing process.

Update: Now, a number of years on from when this was first written I’m glad to report that my knee is fine. It took a while to heal, but now it is fully functional. That’s what I hope happens for you. That you are able to face your problems, get the help you need and heal.

Bringing Worlds Together Book

Many couples struggle to get on the same page in marriage. Whether you are newlyweds or have been married for years Bringing Worlds Together will help you blend together. Expect to learn more about your spouse, gain insight and be challenged.

Are you ready to move closer rather than drift apart?

Available in print and ebook formats.

Adjusting Expectations Book

No-one enters marriage expectation free. Adjusting Expectations helps identify how expectations were formed and whether or not they were realistic. Most expectations need some adjustment; they are often too high but can also be set too low. The good news is expectations can be reset!

Find out what you should expect and what God expects from you.

Available in print and ebook formats.

Improving Communication Book

Most couples would willingly admit that their communication could do with some improvement; although many people also point the finger of blame squarely at their spouse for communication failures. Whether you believe it’s your fault, their fault or that you’re both to blame, this book is for you! There is always room for improvement.

Available in print and ebook formats.

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