
Security is a vital element of any healthy marriage but what ingredients do you need in order to feel secure?
Understanding it’s a Covenant
When we got hitched we understood that our marriage certificate was much more than a piece of paper. Our understanding of covenant is the thing that provokes us to get past temporary hurts, disappointments and misunderstandings. Our security comes from the knowledge that we have both promised to work at our relationship.
Promising to Never Give Up
Instead of giving in and giving up on each other we have made a promise to each other to stick with it. Wedding vows promise to do just that whatever the circumstances.
'for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, until death us do part' were the words we used ... and we still mean them. Click To Tweet
Unpacking the Problem Instead of Packing Your Bags
When we get upset with each other, our covenant causes us to work through the issues and ‘unpack the problem’. It does take work to understand each other’s point of view, but it is well worth the effort! Instead of packing your bags and moving on to a different relationship take the time to deal with conflicts in a healthy way.
Recognise It’s Not Just About You
Marriage in generational. Children can feel secure or insecure based on what you choose to do in your relationship. Security is built when children know that they will always have a father and a mother and a place to call home. It’s also when they see that adults can disagree but work to resolve a conflict. Kids have enough worries with friends, school, their image, their future.
When you have security in your relationship because it’s established on covenant it changes everything. Distrust is replaced by trust. Insecurity is replaced by security. Stress about the stability of the relationship is replaced by a calm reassurance. Even when the storms come there is a security that your marriage will survive any turbulence that life throws at it.