Do you have a maintenance or emergency attitude? Avoiding decay is better than fixing it. Do the same for your marriage.

Hungary holds many joys, but I can’t count early appointments as one of those. One morning I had to take Erin to the dentist at 6 a.m. We were pleased to be one of the first to arrive, but it didn’t take the room long to fill up with more sleepy people.

When Overcrowding is a Problem

Unfortunately more early morning dentist visits were on the horizon as the orthodontist wanted her to wear retainers for a while. Thankfully, for Erin, it wasn’t a serious problem; her mouth was just a little overcrowded, but she didn’t need any teeth pulled.

I remember back to when I needed retainers (braces); struggling with the same problem but needed four teeth removed. Losing teeth wasn’t something I wanted to do. They weren’t decayed and because I knew it would be painful.

I thought about the last number of months which seem to have been particularly busy. Some things that we needed to make room for were inadvertently pushed out.

The Need for Readjustment

Do you need some readjustment in your lives? A retainer is something ‘that retains, as a device, frame, or groove that restrains or guides.’ Sometimes we need a framework or boundary to help us get our priorities right, to guide us in the right direction. We may not have major issues but just need to put things in place to make sure that we keep the smiles on our faces.

Perhaps you are a little more like me. You can see that there are some major problems with overcrowding, and you know that you are going to have to pull some things out of your life. You might feel a little reluctance. It ‘s hard to choose to do something that might even be painful for a time but will bring us long-term gain.

Maintenance or Emergency? Avoiding decay is better than fixing it. Do the same for your marriage. Share on X

Assess the Need for Retainers

Take time to talk about your life together. Is there anything causing you to hide your smile? Are you struggling with a lifestyle that is just too busy and you can’t cope? Are there things that you are doing that don’t seem wrong but are still causing overcrowding in your life?

For many years I had a tremendous problem saying ‘No’.  It was almost as though the word ‘no’ was taboo or a sin. A dear friend of mine introduced me to a new concept. She told me this, ‘No is an anointed word’.

Since I struggled to say that word we came up with a plan. When I was asked to do something, I would tell the person who made the request that I needed to think about it and pray about it with Roy. We would then do just that! If, after prayer, we decided it was ‘off purpose’ then I would go back to the person who asked me and tell them that unfortunately, I couldn’t help.

Agreement is a Key

Agreeing together on the decision made a huge difference, and it gave me the ability to use the word no without feeling any guilt or manipulation. Agreement acts like a retainer that helps keep our lives from being overcrowded. It doesn’t solely rely on us being a check and balance for each other.

The agreement process involves God in the decision making. He is our retainer. He keeps our smile in place because He knows why He created us and that fulfilling our destiny will bring us joy.

Psalm 23:2-3 (NIV) He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.

Bringing Worlds Together Book

Many couples struggle to get on the same page in marriage. Whether you are newlyweds or have been married for years Bringing Worlds Together will help you blend together. Expect to learn more about your spouse, gain insight and be challenged.

Are you ready to move closer rather than drift apart?

Available in print and ebook formats.

Adjusting Expectations Book

No-one enters marriage expectation free. Adjusting Expectations helps identify how expectations were formed and whether or not they were realistic. Most expectations need some adjustment; they are often too high but can also be set too low. The good news is expectations can be reset!

Find out what you should expect and what God expects from you.

Available in print and ebook formats.

Improving Communication Book

Most couples would willingly admit that their communication could do with some improvement; although many people also point the finger of blame squarely at their spouse for communication failures. Whether you believe it’s your fault, their fault or that you’re both to blame, this book is for you! There is always room for improvement.

Available in print and ebook formats.

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