You can walk a lot further if you take time to put on shoes!

Worn-out Shoes

I’ve heard this saying in a few different ways, ‘The shoemaker’s children go barefoot’ or ‘The cobbler’s children are always ill-shod’. Either expression results in the shoemaker’s family getting a raw deal but the issue isn’t one exclusive to those who make shoes! Ironically, when we fell into this trap, we were helping families. Yes, we recognise the hypocrisy. When we were in the middle of that season, we were totally ignorant of what we were doing, it was a complete blind spot.

Lack of Time

We had a passion for helping others, we knew that many of the marriages we were working with were in trouble and that the knock-on effect of that would be emotional scarring. We worked longer and longer hours in an effort to help as many people as we could get out of the holes that they had dug for themselves. The more hours we worked, the more we dug our own hole, and soon we found ourselves feeling overwhelmed. Our conversations moved from being centred around healthy things to being focused on the needs we saw in the lives of those we were working with. Our free-time was almost non-existent and what was left of it was swallowed up on the jobs we needed to do around the home.

Evidence of Neglect

Our home started to look a little shabby as more jobs were put on hold and our lives reflected our self-neglect. Much of our lives are spent on planes flying from one place to another to speak about marriage, but we were ignoring the much-needed advice that we should fit our own oxygen mask first before attempting to help others. When the penny finally dropped we had to make some major readjustments. Modelling a healthy family life was as important as teaching about it. Actions speak louder than words!
Pause and think about the last time you had a significant conversation with your spouse or your kids, one that didn’t involve giving instructions or communicating when you would be home. If you are struggling to think about when that last happened, it’s important to adjust your focus.

You can walk a lot further if you take time to put on shoes. Share on X

The reality is if you have a healthy home-life you are going to be able to go further and do more for God. If your family have the knowledge that you love them and treasure them you are providing them with shoes. Having your family’s care, support, prayers and blessing is a huge gift. Having them run with you is an even better one!

  • Have you experienced seasons of imbalance?
  • What did you do to change it?

Bringing Worlds Together Book

Many couples struggle to get on the same page in marriage. Whether you are newlyweds or have been married for years Bringing Worlds Together will help you blend together. Expect to learn more about your spouse, gain insight and be challenged.

Are you ready to move closer rather than drift apart?

Available in print and ebook formats.

Adjusting Expectations Book

No-one enters marriage expectation free. Adjusting Expectations helps identify how expectations were formed and whether or not they were realistic. Most expectations need some adjustment; they are often too high but can also be set too low. The good news is expectations can be reset!

Find out what you should expect and what God expects from you.

Available in print and ebook formats.

Improving Communication Book

Most couples would willingly admit that their communication could do with some improvement; although many people also point the finger of blame squarely at their spouse for communication failures. Whether you believe it’s your fault, their fault or that you’re both to blame, this book is for you! There is always room for improvement.

Available in print and ebook formats.

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