if you see a little dust find a few cobwebs & trip over a few issues it’s time to spring clean your relationship.

Our weekends seem to involve spending time in the old house on our property. We are attempting to wade through the various tasks that need to be done to make it a usable space. The roof was replaced last year but we had to go back in the attic space again which meant dealing with dust and cobwebs.

Old Hungarian homes used mud as a building material but also as a form of insulation. We have a substantial layer of mud on top of the beams that we needed to remove before we could lay the insulation. We had thought about taking a short cut; after all what worked well in the past isn’t necessarily a bad thing, is it?

A wise friend who lives on the same street immediately stepped in with some advice. They too, were tempted to take this short cut when they were working in their roof space. They went ahead and put in extra insulation and flooring only to discover that it daily rained dust in their home below.

Dust may not seem like a big deal, but studies have shown that many health issues are attributed to it. These issues include asthma, allergies and respiratory problems. At best dust is just one of those irritating things that provide us with, what seems like, a never-ending job. Dust can be a major problem in the home, but dust in a marriage can cause significant irritation. 

In marriage dust can build up just as easily but how can we deal with it?

Don’t ignore the problem.

Dust settles but can be stirred up again easily if we don’t remove it. Sometimes we have marriage issues that we decide not to address. We let the dust settle, and life continues smoothly until something ruffles us and stirs up the old wounds again. It is important to deal with problems instead of ignoring them.

Polish.

Our children have to clean their room every week. Polishing is just one of the jobs they try to shortcut. Sometimes they run a cloth over a surface instead of polishing it, and they just succeed in pushing the dust onto the floor. Their other trick is to polish the visible places hoping I won’t see that they haven’t cleaned thoroughly.

Often couple’s know how to put on a show for company, but there are many areas of their marriage that they haven’t maintained. They push the issues out of sight, but the dust is still there. We were like that during our early years of marriage. We never argued, but there were many issues under the rug! When we did a marriage course, it brought a lot of problems to the surface and helped us deal with them appropriately.

Put a mat at the door.

“Shake the dust off your feet”, Don’t take it with you!

When we first moved to Hungary we found it odd that people took off their shoes at the door and put slippers on, now it makes perfect sense. Cutting back on the amount of dirt tracked into your home is a good way to keep the volume of dust down. Sometimes we return from work with a bad attitude or we take our work home with us. The door needs to be a place we wipe the dust off our feet, remove our shoes and don’t allow the things from the outside to influence our relationship. Matthew 10:14 uses the phrases, ‘shake the dust off your feet’… don’t take it with you!

Wash each other’s feet.

Jesus understood the dust problem. John 13 is one of the most beautiful chapters in the Bible because it demonstrated Jesus’ immense love. Foot washing wasn’t one of the most sought after jobs! It was a low and demeaning job reserved for servants. Jesus demonstrated selflessness when he washed the disciple’s feet. In marriage, we need to work together and show our love for each other by being selfless.

Jesus understood the dust problem. John 13 is one of the most beautiful chapters in the Bible because it demonstrated Jesus’ immense love. Foot washing wasn’t one of the most sought after jobs! It was a low and demeaning job reserved for servants. Jesus demonstrated selflessness when he washed the disciple’s feet. In marriage, we need to work together and show our love for each other by being selfless.

John 13: 15 & 16
I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.
I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.

Bringing Worlds Together Book

Many couples struggle to get on the same page in marriage. Whether you are newlyweds or have been married for years Bringing Worlds Together will help you blend together. Expect to learn more about your spouse, gain insight and be challenged.

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Adjusting Expectations Book

No-one enters marriage expectation free. Adjusting Expectations helps identify how expectations were formed and whether or not they were realistic. Most expectations need some adjustment; they are often too high but can also be set too low. The good news is expectations can be reset!

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Available in print and ebook formats.

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