It’s easy to fall into a dull routine and forget to make your spouse feel special. Perhaps it’s time to glean some wisdom from your dating days. During the dating and courting process, a lot of energy goes into trying to attract, please and catch a prospective partner. Unfortunately, a degenerative process starts to occur after tying the knot. Over time, both husband and wife have a tendency to become increasingly selfish. Eventually, the relationship becomes ‘all about me’. Both husband and wife concentrate on how to get more from the relationship for themselves instead of striving to help or please each other. In the worst of cases, this can lead to disaster with the marriage falling apart and ending in divorce.

Change Your Focus

So that’s the problem, but what is the solution? How can we have better, happier, divorce-proof marriages? Quite simply it is by trying to prefer one another, to please one another. Help each other, be considerate, give to the relationship rather than take from the relationship. It really is that simple and will result in big improvements in any marriage. Of course, implementing this is not quite as simple and will require a lot of thought and discipline. As your behaviour changes from one of taking to one of giving you’ll see that the results are worth it.

I find it helpful to remember back to when I was dating the woman who is now my wife. Thinking back, I realised that everything I did revolved around how I could catch Lainey’s attention. I thought about how I could steal a few minutes with her, how I could make her smile, and how I could make her happy in some way. When I think of all the energy I expended doing this, and compare it to the time I now take to try and please my wife, I realise that there is much more I can do to bring life to our relationship!

Start Investing in Your Relationship

For this principle to work it initially only take one person in the relationship to make a start. If you are dissatisfied with how your marriage is going, you can start doing something to turn your relationship around. You don’t have to sit down and first convince your husband or wife to join you in this exercise. As you begin to take the time to invest love, kindness and helpfulness into your spouse, they will notice the difference and be naturally drawn to reciprocate.

What can you do to start showing your spouse you care?

by Roy Hitchman

Bringing Worlds Together Book

Many couples struggle to get on the same page in marriage. Whether you are newlyweds or have been married for years Bringing Worlds Together will help you blend together. Expect to learn more about your spouse, gain insight and be challenged.

Are you ready to move closer rather than drift apart?

Available in print and ebook formats.

Adjusting Expectations Book

No-one enters marriage expectation free. Adjusting Expectations helps identify how expectations were formed and whether or not they were realistic. Most expectations need some adjustment; they are often too high but can also be set too low. The good news is expectations can be reset!

Find out what you should expect and what God expects from you.

Available in print and ebook formats.

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